Number of queries: 89
Number of useful answers: still 0
There was the big bang, and then things got a little out of hand.
I told you to go back to bed, grandma.
My sentiments exactly.
Well, it achieved its full usefulness on April 3rd, 1996, and everything since has been extraneous. So, to address your question, never.
There's the old adage that the limits of freedom are reached when swinging your arms far and wide becomes bitch-slapping those around you. But if you are at war, famous, armless, or crazy, all bets are off.
I think it would be arrogant for any human to purport a response to that question as definitive, but I'm going to have to go with making number two in a fountain.
I like using a lot of quotation marks, too.
A funeral is sad. A wake has chips and salsa. Incidentally, a vigil has chips and salsa and a Ouija board. Or maybe that's a fake-o seance.
There are no such things as "bells." Angels grow wing sprouts as early as 4 eons, but that the full-feathered wings do not blossom until well into their awkward angel teens, and that's only if they've eaten plenty of fiber-rich angelfeed.
I'm gonna have to stop you right there, asshead.
Yes, unless you have one of those "I can only become aroused with the possibility that I might burn up in a fire" fetishes. In that event, locate the nearest like-minded acquaintance and chance it.
That wasn't a question. (honk honk)
Fark if I know, google-eyed, like a hotbot, searching like a webcrawler, nothing excites me enough to say yahoo, just ask jeeves. Lycos said, it's wikipedia tough. I'm All Out of Luck.
Yus.
Your watch reads a different time than the last time you looked at it. If you are using an operating system named after common house openings that are not doors, you have gotten at least one virus.
[Ed. note: The young man who submitted this question sadly died before I had a chance to address it. Thaddeus Basquiat Nordstrom, you will be missed.]
Just grind your nuts until they liquefy. Then go buy some peanut butter--trust me; you don't want to make it.
Well, if your mother had waited, you might have been a leo. Hope that helps.
I don't recall ever stating that I allow two-part questions.
Not sure, but wet dreams make come.
Not better; bitter. However, using a semicolon properly makes me better than those who do not; they have some catching up to do.
I already know, and I do understand...THAT YOU ARE A BACKSTABBING HARLOT! No, seriously, what's your question?
That would be 69, and there's nothing square about that.
Shoeless Joe? Into your plowed-cornfield baseball diamond on your farm? Highly doubtful, Kevin. Not your dad, either. The movie's over.
Let's put it this way: if life gives me lemonade, I'll drink some of it, and pour the rest into an enemy's wound.
I was wondering about that myself.
Well, I can see your lips moving, but your idiot words haven't gotten here yet.
I have never before been inspired to teach history. Thank you for that.
They also make a spark when you bite them in the light, you just can't see it as well. Read all about it in my new pamphlet, Candy Is Electric And Can Fucking Kill You.
Neat. Let me know how that goes.
Well, it's probably best in delicate situations like this that I deal with her one-on-one. Go ahead and send me her email address, and I'll get in touch with her and see if I can't feel out the problem.
Apparently so.
Flip over partway through.
If Bounty is a guy with roofies, then yeah.
Are you sure this is the entry to "FAQ" that truly represents your deepest thirst for knowledge? Well then, yes, I am going to finish my sandwhich, Socrates.
That I didn't stop taking questions after 36.
The International Olympic Committee, which is still headed by Zeus.
They are small portions of flavored gelatin, fashioned into various shapes using cookie-cutter-type devices, and so-named because of the "jiggly" properties demonstrated when wagged to and fro. According to my probation officer, in no way is that erotic.
Nur ein bißchen.
I'm not sure I feel comfortable seriously addressing rhetorical interrogative from some action movie trailer voiceover.
I'm sorry, Shaun.
Living: Paul
Dead: John
Ringo: Ringo (only by default)
Canada.
Just kidding, Canada. I'm sure you're worth at least a million five in parkas alone.
That's Commie mumbo-jumbo. You might just be beggin' a good ole Amercun-style ass whuppin'. I'd sooner see ya bleed than learn yer name.
Ahem. Can I take back that ripping on Canada?
I think they should invent non-negative numbers that are somehow less than zero for occassions such as these.
Intentionally sticking one's head under the salad bar sneezeguard and sneezing.
...and the holocaust.
Not exactly sure, but definitely in a crowd somewhere.
Gravity.
Where to?
A process called sublimation, a term that can also refer to the process of suppressing depression, guilt, or dread, in order to present a socially-acceptable facade!
Chaos reigns, although there is a reason for that. I am not at liberty to say more.
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Do you understand?
Primarily because of beastiality laws.
The Man.
I am unaware how that verb affects that noun. Is that some kind of idiom? Please forgive, but I am not well-versed in the local dialect! Here, just take this dollar as compensation for my failure to comprehend you.
In terms of semantics, I would say that "juvenile" is more of a pejorative. In terms of statutory sex laws, "youthful" is the adjective that doesn't necessarily land your potentially predatory ass in jail.
Fauns? Grow up, chowderhead.
Well, if you mean the film, I'm going to have to say Oliver Stone.
That exhilaration derived from trying not to get caught.
Only prescription-strength voodoo potions, such as big brands like Maximum Bat Head or The Essence of Crimson. Be cautious with less potent, unregulated varieties like Stub Butter.
Sorry, did I slip through a timespace vortex into a frat party?
No, it just means you left your mom's basement for once. Keep up baby steps like this, and maybe someday you'll make a friend.
Well, of course the benefit of a Roth is that you contribute post-tax income so you don't have to pay taxes when you take money out down the line. Although many find that just doing a 401K helps to keep it up.
If so, be sure to pick up some 401KY.
It's always best to do a simplified version of your normal dance routine during the breakdown.
You take the good, you take the bad, you take 'em both and there you have the facts of life, the facts of life.
Well, 20 years ago, it would have been Ghostbusters. Now I'm just thinking a therapist.
Mr. Bush, this is an international summit. Do you have any questions relevant to the issues at hand?
14, if you count the 13 who will try to capitalize on the event by selling "ribbon" bumper stickers with "Support Our Light Bulbs" printed on them.
I can't imagine them starting up again under any other circumstances.
Adversity--is that an online college?
Methinks someone is looking a little too deeply into their folk songs.
Less needlessly.
Good point. I'm gonna go drown myself in snacks and self-pity now.
First, have something happen to you that is so horrible you cannot explain it. Then, invent an explanation and try to make others adhere to it.
If you also add poison, you can use whatever kind of mushrooms you want.
I would suggest Opie's Smoke Barn, just outside of Pooterville. They disinfect seasonally.
Moon.
I am pretty sure that Tom Sawyer's girlfriend is dead by now.
You could start by travelling to the parallel universe where John Kerry was elected.
You could pee into the water, and who would know?
Listen to the nuances of my typing.
You're in an ornate prison.
Indian Heaven/Cowboy Hell.
Yeah, but Math, not AIDS.
Probably Bangkok, because if I'm immune to the plague, I'm not gonna be scared of dead hookers.
It depends on the phase of the moon. If it's a half moon, it's probably an orgy you weren't invited to. If it's a full moon, then yes, it's probably werewolves. Or possibly a werewolf orgy.
I'm gonna say somewhat blood red.
Hate is a feeling of utter passion. Hate does not stem from apathy, but from a concern that supercedes emotion. Hate is an unconscious, uninterrupted longing for vengeance. Hate is a four letter word containing an equal ratio of vowels to consonants.
This is the wrong answer.